I am here in my body, hairy, freckled. I tell them I am bad at asking others to play (not enough practice when I was little) and regarded skeptically. But I give an order and it is followed eagerly. Why can I not be bad at things? There is such refusal when I say “This… Read More on a saturday
Today is the night before my 25th birthday and the moon and Uranus are supposed to fuck me up tonight and the next seven years and boy do I feel it coming. My mind’s been blank the past ten days but last night I had a scary dream and today I cried on the train,… Read More on a new moon
There have been many moonless nights for me since moving to New York. I cannot find it from our window, but sometimes it follows me home from work, or winks at me in the morning on my way to the train. I jumped up and down today and passed the paper glasses to anyone who… Read More on the great american solar eclipse
Early last Sunday morning, I put my travel mug on my car and it slipped off and cracked and I took a breath and said, “It’s just a thing.” But so am I. I am just a thing that happens to be living. I am just a thing that happens to have thoughts and a schedule… Read More on the pursuit of light
One of my greatest fears* is that the end of the world will come and I will have forgotten to mark it on my calendar. I’ll sleep in, and when I wake up, I’ll look out the window, see that it has happened, chastise myself, probably cry due to the combination of feelings of failure… Read More on the end of the world
I am having trouble writing, recently. But I want to write. I’m reading a ton and thinking a ton and sitting a ton and sitting while thinking about how much I want to write and when I’ve sat down it has turned stale and old and not like what I imagined in my head. But… Read More on beginnings
We have 24 hours in the day and they slip by like they are made of glycerin and water and vinegar and cornstarch and you are trying to roll it up into a ball but it goes nowhere when you bounce it. Instead it falls back into itself and becomes a puddle of glycerin, vinegar,… Read More on waitful awareness
– – – Stuff does not grow. – – – I would like to propose an argument challenging the longstanding belief that things do not grow in Winter. The thesis of this argument being that things do grow in Winter and the notions of the argument being that ONE) Examples of things that do grow in Winter such as the… Read More small movements
When I get dressed, everyone asks where I am going. I think my dog is the only one who understands me. She knows when I want to go on a walk and follows me around nibbling my wrist and the hem of my sweater. It’s fall now and I can’t fall asleep. I used to be… Read More (me) on a bad day
We do so many things every day. There is so much breathing, watching, listening, and feeling in our lives. The big things are only possible because of the small things. I’m talking about the big and the small today because I don’t think you can talk about one without the other. Here’s a list of… Read More an anniversary w/ myself
